You know you travel too much when…

A little humor to start of the day! 🙂

You know you travel too much when….

• you pick restaurants based on their participation in airline mileage programs.
• you carry a telephone wire punch with your laptop so you can plug the modem into even the most antiquated hotel phones.
• the airline ticket counter signs say “Passengers with tickets”, “Passengers buying tickets”, and “Steve”. At LAX.
• you look at the parking lot and not only don’t remember where you parked,but you don’t remember what kind of car you are driving this week.
• the first button on your car radio is set to the airport parking information frequency.
• “Gold” is the lowest level of any frequent flier or hotel program you are a member of.
• the hotel desk clerk knows you by first name. So does the maid. And theguy who cleans the hotel pool.
• you dial “9” to get an outside line, when you are at home.
• you are driving down the street and you don’t remember what city you are in.
• you sit down to dinner at home and ask your spouse for a wine list.
• you leave a tip on your dining room table at home.
• your hotel key doesn’t work, then you remember that the room number you arestanding in front of was your room number at a different hotel, in a different city, last week.
• you care about the local news in a city three states away.
• you know the faces of the newscasters in another city better than the onesat home.
• you say you are “going home”, and you mean the hotel.
• someone asks where you live and you say “Seat 15A”.
• you get a birthday card from the hotel staff.
• you have ever had someone Fed-Ex your dog-eared copy of the OAG to you.
• you know what gate your flight is leaving from before you are told.
• you talk to the pilot and find out you fly more than they are allowed to.
• you get mail at the hotel, and one of the letters is a property tax bill for your hotel room.
• you track the stock price of your favorite airline and notice that it fluctuates with your travel schedule.
• you find yourself saying “This is a nice city, I wonder what it would be like to live here” and you are at home.
• someone asks “Where is area code 555?” and you know. And you tell them when it’s going to be split.
• a flight attendant holds the door to the employee lounge open for you.
• your briefcase glows in the dark from being X-rayed so many times.
• the power goes out in your hotel room, but you know the layout so well you don’t bump into anything.
• you ask the local drive-thru espresso stand which frequent flier program they are associated with.
• you actually consider bidding 100,000 frequent flyer miles for anything.
• people ask you for directions in a strange city and you can give them.
• you start to give directions and realize you are referring to streets in another city.
• you are riding the car with locals and you show them a shortcut to where you are going.
• you follow a highway in a strange town just to see where it goes, and you know exactly where you end up.
• you have season tickets to theatre or sports events in a city you where you don’t have a house or apartment.
• the pilot says “We are passing over Durango”, and you correct him/her.
• you use your hotel address when signing up for a collge class. And they give you state-resident rates on your tuition.
• people ask how long you are visiting for, and you are home.
• you have the phone number for the airline reservation desk on your cellular phone speed dial list, but don’t need it because you have it memorized.
• you consider the most important channel on TV is the “Weather Channel”.
• the travel agents for your company know you by name.
• you have aftershave lotion or perfume that smells like de-icing fluid.
• you know which airline is running double bonus miles to London this month. And Indianapolis next month.
• you have video club memberships in six cities.
• you attend the going away party for the hotel manager.
• you wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to know where you are.
• you begin to refer to the cities you are going to by the three letter airport code.
• you are surprized to discover that soap comes in large bars.
• you have ever had a bodily injury caused by a piece of luggage.
• you are on the rental car shuttle bus and recognize the voice of your favorite shuttle bus operator on the radio. (On second thought, just having a favorite shuttle bus operator is enough).
• you have a reserved parking place at the airport.
• you arrange a carpool to the airport.
• you refer to “downtown Pierre” and are serious.
• the opening of the shortcut walkway between O’Hare’s B and E concourses was something important to you.
• you step in to help out the rental car shuttle driver struggling to give another customer directions. AND you include a street she didn’t even know existed.
• you know which concourses of the airport require you to turn on your laptop computer and which let you run it through the X-ray. In ten cities.
• you refer to a long weekend with your family as “three days on site”.
• you find yourself participating with interest in a conversation about which hotels replace the soap daily.
• at the rental car counter, you ask for a specific model and color car. And you know it’s license number.
• you call the airline’s frequent flier service desk and they recognize your voice.
• you tell the ticket agent what seat number you want after you confirm what model of airplane your flight is on. And you know if this model is a substitution for the regularly scheduled one.
• your name is painted on the side of the airplane.
• in December, you decide to take a trip just to put you over the threshold to the next level of frequent flyer status for the year.
• the airline holds your plane at the gate until you make your connection.
• “USA Today” is your local newspaper.
• you understood every item on this list.