The Worst SkyMall Travel Accessories Ever

SkyMall has recently begun to pull back putting physical magazines in the seatback pockets on airplanes. It’s a costly affair, and they are not getting a return on their investment. People aren’t shopping the way they used to, and perusing a catalog is “so last century.”

So, let’s take a look back on memory lane at the worst SkyMall travel accessories ever:

Neatnik Saucer

Parents already have to carry around a billion pounds of kids’ crap when they go out. They don’t need this. Or do they?

 

SkyRest Travel Pillow

The legend. So portable. Spend the first half of an international flight inflating this stupid thing and the second half passed out from oxygen deprivation. Or just use miles and points to get a fully flat Business or First Class seat.

Tablift

Everything at SkyMall is so portable and convenient! Dr. Octopus called, he wants his…nope sorry, he called back. He does not want this back.

Front Pocket Wallet

Really? People can’t put their wallet in their back pocket? And how are you supposed to carry any credit cards or cash in this thing without having a giant bulge on your thigh?

 

Compact Portable Footrest

Imagine taking this with you everywhere you go.

Sani Squares Germ Barriers

Why does she have to be barefoot to pee? Is she going to pick up those squares after? Does she flush them? Do they double as toilet paper?

Travel Hoodie Pillow

Imagine walking around in public with this thing on. Enough said.

DVD Shield

Does your child try to eject the DVD from this exact model of a now-outdated device and you want to stop him or her from doing that? SkyMall’s got the answer.

Saddlebaby Hands 

How many people have piggybacked and thought, “If only there was a way I could make this unnecessarily complicated and stupid?”

Foam Edge Bumpers, 78”

Are you traveling somewhere that you know has round tables that are 78″ in circumference and are worried about bumping your knees? Once again, SkyMall to the rescue.

Charger/Light/Hand Warmer

Wow. This gift is perfect if you want to read your emails and your right hand is cold. My iPhone battery already lasts as long as a pet turtle. They should remarket this as: BatteryDrainer/SingleHandWarmer/PrideEraser.